You’re reading the words of a man that was once broken by fear and consumed by ego. I’ve never had phobias or any such crippling reactions to stimuli. I think of this as the fear of an undesired outcome. Should there be a phobia regarding events that haven’t happened yet. I surmise this can go beyond an average idea of chronophobia. There’s more of an unraveling that takes place in order to abolish fear. And to abolish my fear I had to understand where the fear originates. Of course, I’ll get back to that one day soon.
I was broken by fear. The sort of fear that renders you immobile. The kind of fear that makes you think it’s acceptable to procrastinate. Fear that makes you misuse trust of loved ones. The kind of fear that comes with constant worrying. Fear is a powerful opponent. The ego from what I’ve come to encounter helps magnify our fear or even perhaps the fear is what makes the ego present itself as a defense mechanism.
Rather this ego is in a metaphysical sense. I believe as many others do that there are two sides to every being. A “yin and yang” showing us dualities of our very nature based on decisions. To be trapped in your ego and not know the difference is a frightening feeling in hindsight. Perhaps you already know what I’m getting at. Perhaps, not.
By definition, ego is said to be a persons sense of self-esteem & self-importance. Now, let’s go further. What if this ego is just another part of an organ in the body and a different kind of energy is emitted in its use?
In my understanding, all things came together to make us...whole. Mastery of our thoughts help make way for freedom. When a thought is released, the thought is perceived and then if accepted it’s then put into action. With the ego, It is usually a snap reaction that requires no thought or an individual can be said to be running on auto-pilot! This reaction is similar to being a deer in the headlights. This analogy swears as a visual aid pushing us to see a deer with no time react to the oncoming threat to its existence. Whereas being without ego means to come from a place of purity. The kind of purity where we can discern with pinpoint accuracy whether to move up, left, or right. This accuracy comes from a knowing based in past karmic experiences; also, this knowing is based in seeing the movements conclusion before it occurs.
It is the logic behind judgement(another attribute we’ve accomplished based in outward looking and comparing we let loose without checks and balances. You may remember the popular quote from immortal hip-hop group, public enemy when leader Chuck D says, “check your self, before your wreck yourself!”
This “ego” must be checked.